Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I did not marry a roomba.
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