I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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