never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
