Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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