Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
