I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
