I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
