i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I have already put on my inside pants.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
