There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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