What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
