I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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