It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
