No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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