Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My vagina just recognized that song.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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