Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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