He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
