I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
