I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
