NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
