I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
