So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
