I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
