i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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