Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
