Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
