What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think your dad took our porno
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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