your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
