why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
