im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
