I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He did a backflip because drugs
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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