K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Found the puke drawer
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize