I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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