So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
