My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
