Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
