some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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