"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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