Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
