my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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