Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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