last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
