I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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