I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
