This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
