last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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