I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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