You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
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