That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
