Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
