what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
