I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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