sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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